Overwhelmed...

So I really don't know why I even have this blog. For one, I hardly ever update it, also, it seems as though no one reads it. Correction, no one reads it period.

Big girl school is in full swing. I love State. It's pretty overwhelming though.

So this summer was amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world, I am so glad I did it. However, one downfall of it is that since I'm not Baptist, I didn't get the "honorarium" check that everyone else got. Throughout the whole process I just kept telling myself, "God has it under control, Claire. Don't worry about it." And I didn't....until now. I still can't find a job, and everyone everywhere wants money for something from me. It's hard to stay above water. I just don't know what to do. I hate having to run to my parents every week needing money, which sadly, is what I have had to do every week. I just knew God would open a door for me in Starkville, but I haven't found it yet. Everyone says "Don't worry about it." I can't help but to worry about it.

I just feel lost right now. Everyone else seems to have it all together. Why am I such a mess? I miss the easy life of ICC. I miss being known and knowing people. I miss my teachers really caring about me. I miss the BSU and everyone that is still there.

I am trying to keep the bigger picture in mind. I'm trying to find God in all of this. I know this isn't the worse that could happen. And I'm sure if you are reading this you're just thinking I'm overreacting and maybe I am, but it's just how I'm feeling right now.