surprisingly hard

Today I had to write thank you notes to people for their support that was received after I left. That was surprisingly hard.

I know there was nothing I could do about the decision for me to come home. It just still makes me sad to think about all that time I could have been spending with those kids and getting to know the other adults and my teammates. As much as I have loved reading blog updates from other teams, it also breaks my heart.

A lot has been going on here in Aberdeen. Things that I know I needed to be here for. I wouldn't call these things "fun" or "enjoyable", but it would have been SO much more harder to have to deal with it halfway around the world. I have also seen how the Lord has been using me, too. That was truly a blessing, and still is!

I feel as though Satan is trying to control my thoughts and emotions to get me down and to thwart my trust in God. He's fighting real hard. Sometimes I just tear up for no reason other than the thought of "You're a failure. You are writing these people, thanking them for their support when you came home early. When you go to debrief and see all the other team members, they're going to have amazing stories and experiences to share; what are you going to say?" I can let these thoughts take over me or I can choose to fight back. I choose the latter. I'm not going to let him control me like that. My faith and trust is in the Lord and Him alone. So I turn on my music loud and sing praises to Him because I know He deserves it and how much it angers Satan. I get to go back to Alabama and see all my friends who have spent the summer expanding the Kingdom and hear their stories. This is my family and I am so proud of them.

I am having to move out of my apartment I was planning on continuing to live in again this year. However, miscommunication issues arose and I am now having to move out. It's hard enough trying to find a place to live and roommates around Spring Break, but it's even harder to do it a few weeks before school starts. I've found 2 roommates and a 4 bedroom house. So I'm still looking for a 4th. This is just one of those situations when I have to do all that I can, but for the most part, give it all to God. He knows what He is doing and there must be some girl somewhere that needs to be living with us this year. I know I am very impatient, so this lesson is hard for me. I'm just taking it one day at a time. That's all you can do, right? Right!

Just a few more days and my people will be flying home! I am so ready to see them all and hang out with them for a few days. Praying for safety and continuous opportunities to share the Gospel.

In His Name.

Home

Where You go, I'll go.

Where You stay, I'll stay.

When You move, I'll move.

I will follow You.

Well, I'm coming home. It has been a very emotional past week. I did get to come with my team to Davao for our mid-summer break. We got to hang out with another orphanage team. So I was able to chill, relax, see some sights, and make more memories with my sisters. However, today my team went back to Malaybalay and I stayed here. I'm still coping with this whole situation. I've learned a lot just in the past week. The lyrics above have been playing in my head for a few days now. I have to be obedient and follow Him; even if He's going to Aberdeen.

I was obedient in the fact of following His call on my life to come halfway around the world to the Philippines. However, He never gave me a time frame. He never told me I'd be here for 2 months. I just assumed that. I guess 1 month was all that He needed me to do here. It was hard saying goodbye to the kids and it was just as hard saying goodbye to my teammates/sisters. I feel as though there was so much more that I needed to learn about them. It's okay, though. We all live fairly close to each other and can visit. I know my parents are ready for me to come home. I'm sure it's been just as hard if not harder on them than anyone else.

I ask that you continue to pray for me, my team, and my other brothers and sisters that are still serving the Lord. Who knows what He has planned for me back at home?! No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive what God has planned for those who love Him. - 1 Corinthians 2:9. You can't out-dream God. He is sovereign.

Love you all very much. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Bittersweet

The people in charge have decided that I would be a danger to myself and the kids here. In that case, they are sending me home. I'm in Davao City with my team and another orphanage team for our mid-summer break. They'll all go back on Wednesday. In the mean time, my parents are working on getting my ticket moved up to this week. Sad doesn't begin to describe my feelings. I keep telling myself that the Lord has a bigger plan for me back home. He wouldn't send me halfway across the world and bring me home early if He didn't. So we'll just see what He has planned for me in Aberdeen.