surprisingly hard

Today I had to write thank you notes to people for their support that was received after I left. That was surprisingly hard.

I know there was nothing I could do about the decision for me to come home. It just still makes me sad to think about all that time I could have been spending with those kids and getting to know the other adults and my teammates. As much as I have loved reading blog updates from other teams, it also breaks my heart.

A lot has been going on here in Aberdeen. Things that I know I needed to be here for. I wouldn't call these things "fun" or "enjoyable", but it would have been SO much more harder to have to deal with it halfway around the world. I have also seen how the Lord has been using me, too. That was truly a blessing, and still is!

I feel as though Satan is trying to control my thoughts and emotions to get me down and to thwart my trust in God. He's fighting real hard. Sometimes I just tear up for no reason other than the thought of "You're a failure. You are writing these people, thanking them for their support when you came home early. When you go to debrief and see all the other team members, they're going to have amazing stories and experiences to share; what are you going to say?" I can let these thoughts take over me or I can choose to fight back. I choose the latter. I'm not going to let him control me like that. My faith and trust is in the Lord and Him alone. So I turn on my music loud and sing praises to Him because I know He deserves it and how much it angers Satan. I get to go back to Alabama and see all my friends who have spent the summer expanding the Kingdom and hear their stories. This is my family and I am so proud of them.

I am having to move out of my apartment I was planning on continuing to live in again this year. However, miscommunication issues arose and I am now having to move out. It's hard enough trying to find a place to live and roommates around Spring Break, but it's even harder to do it a few weeks before school starts. I've found 2 roommates and a 4 bedroom house. So I'm still looking for a 4th. This is just one of those situations when I have to do all that I can, but for the most part, give it all to God. He knows what He is doing and there must be some girl somewhere that needs to be living with us this year. I know I am very impatient, so this lesson is hard for me. I'm just taking it one day at a time. That's all you can do, right? Right!

Just a few more days and my people will be flying home! I am so ready to see them all and hang out with them for a few days. Praying for safety and continuous opportunities to share the Gospel.

In His Name.