Where's your worth?

Self is defined as your consciousness of your own identity. Worth is defined as the quality that renders something desirable or valuable or useful. 

Therefore, self worth would be how you value yourself. 

So, my question is, "Where do you find your self worth?". 

I have grown up in Aberdeen, MS my whole life. My family has a specific pew at church and we have our "assigned" seats. I am known in that town. Whether it be by my last name, school, or something else I've done in the town or at school. People know me. 

I have an amazing family that loves me dearly. We're not the best at always saying it, but I know it's true. When I'm gone for the summer I am bombarded with mail from my family and friends. When I've been hurt, I know exactly who in my family is going to give me the pep talk (or go off on someone) that I need. When I've had to be rushed to the hospital, family members were there before I was. Case in point: my family loves me. 

Then there are my friends. Friends who have planned surprise parties for me. "Decorated" my car. Helped me get over boys. Taught me things. Acted a complete fool with me. Sent me more mail that I could have ever dreamed. Made me things. Listened to my terrible day. Bought me flowers. Taken picture, after picture, after picture, after picture with me. Needless to say, there are people outside of the Mattox Clan who love me. 

So what's my problem you say?

I find my value, my self worth, in other people. Looking back, I think I always have. When I am around people, when I walk into a place and I'm greeted by name, when I have plans for the weekend, when I have visitors and people coming to me for help or advice...that's when I feel useful. The only problem with that is, people let you down. There's no doubt about it. It WILL happen. It doesn't matter how long you've known them or how close you are with them. It's inevitable. In that case, I've been hurt...a lot. I put so much emphasis on other people's opinion of me, that I've forgotten who I am. 

So who am I?

I am a daughter, sister, roommate, friend, teacher, the epileptic, the should you cry on, the one who always has room for you, the listener, the photographer, the scrapbooker, the good girl, the traveler, the goofy one, but most importantly, I am a child of the Most High God, the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega. That, dear friends, is where I should be finding my self worth. Because He will NEVER let me down. Some days I wonder how in the world the Perfect One could ever love me like that? I sure don't deserve it. He does though. 

I know all the verses, all the promises...in my head. How do I get that to correlate to my heart? 

How do I turn finding my self worth from people and circumstances to my Risen Savior? 

I praise God for revealing these things to me. That's what I get when I ask Him to reveal any idols in my life, right? Ha. Now, I'm not one to just pour my heart out on my blog like this. I usually just tell about what I've been doing. However, for some reason, I felt like I should share this. It was hard, don't get me wrong. This whole lesson I'm learning is hard, but I know some life changing lesson will be learned when it's all said and done. 

I lift my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber, indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, not the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. 

Psalm 121

To God be the Glory.